A few more funnies

[Steve_D]

As a young boy I was blessed with a nine and three quarter inch penis . Unfortunately it belonged to Father O'Malley.

Wife says to husband "You only ever want sex when you're drunk". Husband says "That’s not true . . . sometimes I want a kebab"

I bought the wife a Memory Stick; it's great ! She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.

Sky news report. When the Irish joined in the attack on Libya, they sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement . . . It was a mortar attack.

A Geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in a disaster area. Yank says, "Where you from buddy?"He replies, "Newcastle" "What State's that in?" asks the Yank."Pretty much the same as this place!" Was the reply.

Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when he got back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees. Apparently she'd stood him up.

My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger. It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!