The wife & I were walking home from the pub last night when she nipped behind some bushes for a piss.

I was feeling a bit horny so i stuck my hand through the bushes for a feel & got the fright of my life.

"Have you changed sex"? I asked.

"No" she said "but i've changed my mind. I'm having a shit.

that's disgusting....but funny....
That reminds me of a mate of mine who ended up in bed with ,,,what he thought was a dolly bird from a cruise ship in Southampton..it was only when he put his hand up her skirt and felt meat and 2 veg he realized that he had been set up.