Spoof advert.
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:21 am
(Above photo of race-replica sports bike with really garish colour scheme, bloody huge engine etc):
Forty something? Kids left home? Want to recapture that misspent youth? Or are you just a pathetic ageing poser with more money than sense?
(Below photo): Then try the new Kawayamahonzuki ZZRYZFCBGSX1300RR Turbo Hypersport. 195 bhp! 200 mph! 0-100 in 7.3 seconds! Yes, the first time you ride it you'll s..t your pants!
Now with special features as standard:
* Built-in weather station with engine cut-out to entirely eliminate any possibility of having to ride it in the rain.
* Special dust and cobweb resistant finish for those long months in the garage behind the family hatchback.
* Extra-loud 'race-can' exhausts to really p... off the neighbours.
Only £14999 on the road (but not today. It's too cold and I really should get those shelves up. Oh yes, and mow the lawn.) Now available with exclusive three-year finance deal. If it takes you that long to tire of it and try another 'toy' instead (like an off-road quad-bike. Mmm, that's an idea.) Plus buy before 31st March and we will include absolutely free:
* Matching designer leathers and helmet with mirror visor for added pose value.
* Full cleaning and polishing kit so it looks as pristine as possible on the rare occasions when you actually get out of your car and ride it.
The new Kawayamahonzuki ZZRYZFCBGSX1300RR Turbo Hypersport. The fastest bike on the planet. Till the next one. See it at your local dealer now. But don't tell the missus.
Better still, stick to the car you loser.
(In small print at the bottom of the page): Price includes tiny number plate that is unreadable at more than ten feet away but looks really cool, delivery straight to your garage where it will be spending most of it's time anyway and 5 litres of fuel (or about three month's worth.) Finance subject to status, years remaining on mortgage and how much hair you have left. Warranty 2 years or 300 miles. Specification, standard equipment or colour scheme subject to change as and when we bloody feel like it.
Forty something? Kids left home? Want to recapture that misspent youth? Or are you just a pathetic ageing poser with more money than sense?
(Below photo): Then try the new Kawayamahonzuki ZZRYZFCBGSX1300RR Turbo Hypersport. 195 bhp! 200 mph! 0-100 in 7.3 seconds! Yes, the first time you ride it you'll s..t your pants!
Now with special features as standard:
* Built-in weather station with engine cut-out to entirely eliminate any possibility of having to ride it in the rain.
* Special dust and cobweb resistant finish for those long months in the garage behind the family hatchback.
* Extra-loud 'race-can' exhausts to really p... off the neighbours.
Only £14999 on the road (but not today. It's too cold and I really should get those shelves up. Oh yes, and mow the lawn.) Now available with exclusive three-year finance deal. If it takes you that long to tire of it and try another 'toy' instead (like an off-road quad-bike. Mmm, that's an idea.) Plus buy before 31st March and we will include absolutely free:
* Matching designer leathers and helmet with mirror visor for added pose value.
* Full cleaning and polishing kit so it looks as pristine as possible on the rare occasions when you actually get out of your car and ride it.
The new Kawayamahonzuki ZZRYZFCBGSX1300RR Turbo Hypersport. The fastest bike on the planet. Till the next one. See it at your local dealer now. But don't tell the missus.
Better still, stick to the car you loser.
(In small print at the bottom of the page): Price includes tiny number plate that is unreadable at more than ten feet away but looks really cool, delivery straight to your garage where it will be spending most of it's time anyway and 5 litres of fuel (or about three month's worth.) Finance subject to status, years remaining on mortgage and how much hair you have left. Warranty 2 years or 300 miles. Specification, standard equipment or colour scheme subject to change as and when we bloody feel like it.
