One-Liners - please add one better than mine
I understand that necrophilia is dead boring.
One-Liners
-
Deeping
- Benefactor
- Posts: 1207
- Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:13 pm
- Current Ride: t-max + xv1100
- Location: Very South Lincolnshire
One-Liners
Never instal version 1.0
-
TmaX9
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:15 pm
- Current Ride: 04 and 54 X9 500 Evos
- Location: Fylde Coast Lancashire
Re: One-Liners
Bungee jumping is like getting a blow job off your gran, It feels great but don't look down!!
-
Steve_D
- Benefactor
- Posts: 2097
- Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:46 pm
- Current Ride: Honda SH300i
- Location: East London/Essex
Re: One-Liners
Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary)
Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham, delete it. It’s Spam.
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little bastards deserved it!
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Ethel has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
News flashes:
Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove.
A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related.
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.
The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.
Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham, delete it. It’s Spam.
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little bastards deserved it!
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Ethel has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
News flashes:
Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove.
A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related.
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.
The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.
Paddle harder. I can hear banjo music!
Honda SH300i
Honda SH300i