I was on a train this morning, in the loo.having a shit, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please?"
"Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a shit."
"I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door."
"No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are Sweetcorn!"

oooooowww

Being as im a retired senior conductor ,i believe you lol