Enough in here to upset everyone at least once:-

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).

Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife: Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.

Blonde wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some luke warm water over it."
Wife texts back: "Computer really buggered now.

Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove.

A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

good one

Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.

The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

I don't get these two, must be something local-british?
Others are gooduns though

Zed wrote:

Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.

The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

I don't get these two, must be something local-british?
Others are gooduns though

The first one refers to the few white people that are allegedly in Bradford. Similarly, you could also call the dog, Leicester or Luton etc

And the second one is to do with the traditional shout from the audience at a pantomime.
"Behind you!!!!"

oh no it isn't



sorry, just had to be the first to do that

Good jokes, keep em coming