To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton,

Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs

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7 wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40

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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt
................. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
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Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Years Riots....
Your One Year Manufacturers Warranty Runs Out Soon

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"ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY" and with tears streaming down my face

I swore I'd never visit another Thai brothel!!!

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2 Indian junkies accidental snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. They’re both in hospital... one's in a korma…

the other's got a dodgy tikka!

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The 100m final at the 2012 Olympics was just like any other Friday night in Brixton.

You heard a gunshot followed by 8 black guys legging it!

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In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper, lead

and anything else they could get their bloody hands on

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Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a middle aged couple from Weymouth

I was in Asda earlier, this thick bitch was on the check-out, face like a slapped arse and all the charisma of a half eaten waffle. I came to pay, I had only bought milk and bread but had no change.



"£1.03 please"



"Sorry this is all I've got," as I handed her a £20 note.



"Haven't you got anything smaller, 'cos it will take all my change, and I don't wanna count out £18.97?" she replied and pulled a stroppy face.



"I've got nothing, if that helps," I replied...she didn't get it so I thought Fuck it, I'll pay by card.



"Shall I pay by card?" I asked.



"Don't do me no favours," she snapped.



I kept my cool and just put my PIN in.



"Cash back?" she asked sarcastically.



I couldn't resist it... "Oh yes, £18.97 please."



Don't Fuck with a tired Irishman...