63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.
The police are blaming AL IKEA .
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Jonathan Ross has been accused
Of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take..
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Police stop a Pakistani in his transit on the motorway.
Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that - 3 of you have got to get out!"
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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo
With blood pouring from them..
"B*ll*KS to that" said Paddy
"That's the last time I go lion dancing"
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Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new
drug for depressed lesbians.. It's called Trydixagain.
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8 immigrants were suffocated in the back of
A Tesco lorry last night. Every little helps.
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Good to see you're back on form!!

If it makes us laugh, who cares nice

Won't be able to use those at work!!

Ha ha ha ha No flack from me

I object, there were no Englishmen or Scots mentioned otherwise a fine set of gigglers.

Dear Mr Angry, hope this helps redress the balance a little. . . . . . .

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.
The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.
A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Scouser said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'
'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, then placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, Bolton, parts of Stoke on Trent and anywhere in Wales.

Very funny.