A few funnies...
Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:17 am
...well I think so. You may have heard them before though
I made my girlfriends dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the miserable look on her face as we were bouncing around!
After shagging Kylie Minogue yesterday I think there are 2 things you all need to know. She really is as sexy as hell, secondly, the staff at Madam Tussauds are miserable bastards with no sense of humour!!
Said to my mate today "Why you looking so happy?" he said " The missus had one of those procedures done at hospital today that would put a smile on the face of any bloke" I said " What a breast enlargement?" he replied " No a post mortem!"
Took the other half to a Disco last night. There was a bloke on the dance floor giving it large, breakdancing, backflips, moonwalking, the works. Other half says " That guy proposed to me 20 years ago and I turned him down" I replied " Looks like he is still fucking celebrating"
I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day apparently, 'A meal for two with a terrible view' isn't the best way to announce number 69
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner."
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I made my girlfriends dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the miserable look on her face as we were bouncing around!
After shagging Kylie Minogue yesterday I think there are 2 things you all need to know. She really is as sexy as hell, secondly, the staff at Madam Tussauds are miserable bastards with no sense of humour!!
Said to my mate today "Why you looking so happy?" he said " The missus had one of those procedures done at hospital today that would put a smile on the face of any bloke" I said " What a breast enlargement?" he replied " No a post mortem!"
Took the other half to a Disco last night. There was a bloke on the dance floor giving it large, breakdancing, backflips, moonwalking, the works. Other half says " That guy proposed to me 20 years ago and I turned him down" I replied " Looks like he is still fucking celebrating"
I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day apparently, 'A meal for two with a terrible view' isn't the best way to announce number 69
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner."
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Click Here!
