Fred came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Fred.'

Fred was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry but there's only one way you can go back and that is as a chicken.'

Fred was devastated but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Fred the hen 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. '

'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Fred....

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

He did and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard....."Fred, wake up! You've sh*t the bed!"

lol