Smartarse car driver once smirked at my scooter: "You couldn't pull a skin off a rice pudding with one of them, pal..."

To which I replied: "Neil, it takes you two hours to get home at night. I've already left your house by then..."

...and I wasn't joking.

irev very nice ,was he your best m8 as well lol .

Skutorr thats why i will eventually ride mine to italy and just hang out especially as it has that effect .We see so many scooters in Rome and like the pic there was always pretty girls on them .

Ferret wrote:irev very nice ,was he your best m8 as well lol .

Yes, but he was cheating with the greengrocers daughter... and the bugger kept using being out with me as an excuse

She was only the greengrocers daughter but she had a nice pear.....

Steve_D wrote:She was only the greengrocers daughter but she had a nice pear.....

But no plums I hope

I am well versed in not giving a flying fuck what people think of my choices which always earns respect.

Only in America...

A man received the following text from his neighbour:

“I am so sorry Walter. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping into your wife, day and night when you're not around. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.”

Walter, full of anguish and feeling hugely betrayed, went straight into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

“Damn auto correct. I meant "WiFi", not "wife" Sorry!!!!!!!!!!”

Wow it all happens in Hampshire, you hets such a funny lot