Muppet brown pants moment No.2

[Funkycowie]

There are some real arse holes out on the road at 5:00 am in the morning, people rushing to work or from work not sure which...

This morning was a real pea souper so the stretch of 60mph I normally take in the morning I was taking at 45-50mph because my visor was picking up water particles like crazy so I had to keep wiping and visibility was down to under 3 seconds ahead.

In my mirrors I see lights approaching fast from behind so I touch my rear brake so it lights up brighter and flash it a couple of times as warning. The white van slowed but stayed about 10 foot off my arse due to double white lines on the long right hand bend we were on (single lane going north my side, dual lane south the other side).

The Van is visibly getting closer almost like he is trying to force me to go faster but I keep my speed because I feel its necessary in the conditions.

So I signal with my left hand for the driver to slow down and back off which usually works...

So this absolute cnut decides he's had enough or maybe I have offended him in some way so he over takes crossing the double whites, I see two pin points of light a head in the fast lane and think 'Oh shit!' so I start to slacken off.

But the cnut cuts me up on the overtake missing my right hand by inches with his mirror in passing and my front wheel by inches also.

Then puts on his brakes...

I am left with no option but to hit the brakes, try and maintain control and keep left... but skid on something, up the thankfully slanted curb, missing a lamp post, skidded along grass verge, gained traction when I hit the path and stopped about 2' into bushes... and the cnut drives off before I can get the registration and I don't have my camera on because I forgot to charge the battery after yesterdays trip to the Olympics.

TMax is ok, no damage or scratches unbelievably, but I have a scrape up the inside of my left calf muscle from the plastics of the TMax and my ankle and knee feel dodgy.


Almost makes me want to give up bikes and learn to drive a car.

[macp]

What a complete !"%&?@~ I am just staggered by some people but in particular white van man. Glad you are ok I could feel my urine beginning to boil as I read your post.

[Zed]

Dosent sound good Funkie. Glad you're ok.

Funnily enough most white van men are fine around London-town, it's 4x4/SUV types who are wankers who do shit like that ^^^
Black cabbies are bad for different reasons - they just don't see you...

[tallpaul]

Pleased you're okay funky. Pity you didn't get his number, bastard wants shooting
It's a bit of a wake up call, ride safe everyone.

[halfabusa]

Thankfully you're ok mate. You were lucky to get out of it relatively safe to tell the tale. I don't know what I would have done if it happened to me as these kind of incidents descent a red curtain over my eyes and I switch to primal instincts (kill or die trying)

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

[Funkycowie]

I was too busy saving my arse to consider anything else... still can't believe what the guy did, he literally tried to have me off regardless of whether I survived or not just because I was in his way.

[Earl]

I remember being hit by a white van who pulled out on me at a junction, I was on my Dargster with my lights on full beam. He pulled out and I hit him as he turned and I glanced off the front wing, he drove off so I followed him til he pulled over, as I was getting off my scooter he came swaggering up all big man and stuff until I stood up and took my helmet off. For those who don't know me I'm 22st and 6 foot with a shaved head and goatee (I look like the stereotypical biker) He soon changed his tune and couldn't appologise enought lol.

[irev]

There are some real arse holes out on the road at 5:00 am in the morning, people rushing to work or from work not sure which...

This morning was a real pea souper so the stretch of 60mph I normally take in the morning I was taking at 45-50mph because my visor was picking up water particles like crazy so I had to keep wiping and visibility was down to under 3 seconds ahead.

In my mirrors I see lights approaching fast from behind so I touch my rear brake so it lights up brighter and flash it a couple of times as warning. The white van slowed but stayed about 10 foot off my arse due to double white lines on the long right hand bend we were on (single lane going north my side, dual lane south the other side).

The Van is visibly getting closer almost like he is trying to force me to go faster but I keep my speed because I feel its necessary in the conditions.

So I signal with my left hand for the driver to slow down and back off which usually works...

So this absolute cnut decides he's had enough or maybe I have offended him in some way so he over takes crossing the double whites, I see two pin points of light a head in the fast lane and think 'Oh shit!' so I start to slacken off.

But the cnut cuts me up on the overtake missing my right hand by inches with his mirror in passing and my front wheel by inches also.

Then puts on his brakes...

I am left with no option but to hit the brakes, try and maintain control and keep left... but skid on something, up the thankfully slanted curb, missing a lamp post, skidded along grass verge, gained traction when I hit the path and stopped about 2' into bushes... and the cnut drives off before I can get the registration and I don't have my camera on because I forgot to charge the battery after yesterdays trip to the Olympics.

TMax is ok, no damage or scratches unbelievably, but I have a scrape up the inside of my left calf muscle from the plastics of the TMax and my ankle and knee feel dodgy.


Almost makes me want to give up bikes and learn to drive a car.

Find him. And kill his children. They clearly should not live long enough to breed.

[masterchop]

Should be legal to kick the shit out of people like that.

[Deeping]

Hi Earl, what were you doing with a goat on a scooter – and how did you tie it on?